Do you struggle with self promotion?
Does it feel icky to share what you’re up to?
That you shouldn’t have to be political to get ahead?
That it should be enough to do good work and be rewarded for it?
It’s not just you.
I coach a lot around visibility, and voice, and how to show up and share what you’re up to without feeling icky - both within an organisation, or online.
When people bring this topic it can feel as though there are only two choices…
Ah January.
A time of setting out your intentions for the year ahead.
For thinking about what you want to be different this year.
For taking time to focus on where you want to spend your time and energy.
It’s a super useful thing to do - we have to dream before we can work out how to make it happen. It’s a gift to give ourselves the time to reflect before we get sucked into the year.
And yet, if we’re not careful we can set the wrong types of goals. Ones stuck in the language of ‘should’ and need’.
Who do you admire?
I love this question.
Both asking it and answering it.
It gives such insight.
I haven’t always loved it though.
In the past I found it really hard to answer. I couldn’t think of people I admired without my inner critic getting very noisy.
It told me that everyone I thought about was too far away from where I was - completely out of reach. I fell into compare and despair and couldn’t see why it was helpful.
“The Pause is the full stop that allows us to consider the next sentence of our lives”
I love this quote by Danielle North, and it feels especially relevant right now, as we head into the darkest nights and festive break, ahead of a New Year.
With this as inspiration, it’s become a tradition for my husband and I sit down with our family calendar at the end of December, to take a look back at the year and reflect on what’s happened.
Where did we go? What did we do? What were the big events and the little memories? We are always astonished at how much we have already forgotten about!
We give the year a theme or a title, and then look forward with a light touch - what will the coming year bring? What would we like it to be like?
Some years the process has been painful with loss, other times rich in learning, often we have marvelled at the sheer amount of change.
It always brings insight and a sense of grounding.
Something you may not know about me is that I was The UK’s Most Enterprising Student 1995.
At the end of my second year at university I completed an 8-week summer placement for a local SME. It was through the Shell Technology Enterprise Programme (STEP) - a way to gain ‘proper’ work experience before graduating.
I then won the competition at the end - sharing the story of my experience in front of different judging panels, and ending up being presented with this trophy at a black-tie dinner.
It was a complete game changer in so many ways.
Mostly in how I thought about myself.
I’ve done more yoga this year than ever before, and I love both the movement and the insights I get on the mat.
So often something a yoga teacher says will strike a chord.
My most recent a-ha moment was about conscious flexibility - actively choosing when to stretch and when not to.
It linked so clearly for me into our personal boundaries.
Lots of us can stretch, accommodate, adjust.
We can hang out in our flexibility. It can become part of who we are.
We can extend ourselves but hurt ourselves in the process.
We can push ourselves beyond our limits trying to keep up with others.
Sometimes its good to stretch - we don’t want to turn into statues.
Sometimes it’s not - we don’t want to snap.
In a recent coaching session with the brilliant Sue Belton, I realised that my to do list had lost its way.
It was no longer a summary of the key actions to take to move forward.
It had turned into a long list of things I could do, a faffing-around-the-edges list.
It wasn’t useful any more.
It used to be. But I’ve spent the last 18 months working through it, and also added a lot of useful structures and systems in place (hello scheduling!).
I still have things I want to focus my attention on, but so much more of what I do has a consistent rhythm.
I’m keeping things moving rather than starting from scratch.
It feels VERY weird. And quite uncomfortable too.
Are you out of alignment?
After a few niggles resurfaced recently I booked myself in for a physio MOT.
I was expecting to have a few small adjustments.
A once over to iron out any little things before they became bigger. A self care top up.
It turns out my ribs were completely out of alignment!
For a long time I’d been walking around slightly twisted to the left. Compressed on one side, with my poor neck constantly stretched to try and keep my eyes level.
Yikes.
And yet it hadn’t felt ALL wrong.
It hadn’t felt completely right either, but my body had adapted and was doing a brilliant job of keeping me upright.
Until it got too tired and started to send out some signals.
How do you know when it’s time to take a break?
It can be so easy to get caught up in the busy-ness of life.
To keep going, even when we feel exhausted.
To bounce from high to low with the support of sugar and caffeine.
To not even realise that we need to stop until it’s too late.
The topic of how to manage energy - both physical and mental - has come up a lot in coaching recently.
How to be productive without burning out?
How to know when to push on and when to take a break?
And how to do so in a sustainable way?
It’s a topic that’s close to my heart.
